Life on The Rowland Ranch

"What's life like for Jane Rowland," you ask? Well, here you go...a small glimpse into the wonderful reality I live in. Enjoy!

Saturday, July 19, 2008

An ache behind my smile.

Have you ever found yourself smiling with an ache in your heart? That's how it's been for me going on five years now. Life is great..I have so very much to be thankful for, yet at the end of the day..when I search my heart, there is a dull ache in the very depths. Those of you very close to me know of the ache I'm talking about. Almost five years ago my Dad went to Sudan, Africa and contacted Cerebral Malaria. We almost lost him. He really hasn't been the same since. Now, I'm not sure what your relationship is like with your Dad. Me and my Dad are tight. Super tight. Let's just took me an entire year to "leave and cleave"...I remember when Matthew and I were first married, going into the bathroom and crying my eyes out because I missed my Dad. The comfort, the unconditional love, the joy I saw in his eyes when we spent time together. Now, you gotta understand that Matthew is an INCREDIBLE husband...I couldn't ask for more..just had a time of grief letting go of my Dad as the main man in my life.'s been a huge, long, uphill battle since Dad contacted Malaria. We've seen some great progress and some days no progress at all. Yet...we trust that Jesus has Dad in his very capable and loving hands. I rely on Psalm 91 that says "Because he loves me, says the Lord..I will rescue him, I will protect him for he acknowledges my name..with LONG LIFE will I satisfy him and show him my salvation!"
We all love you're going to make it through this. We're standing with you, believing for a complete and total healing. You're the greatest Dad in the world!! And Mom...your grace and strength through all of this has been incredible! Your unconditional love for Dad and your selflessness is remarkable and a true example to all of us. I love you both more than you'll ever know. Love, Buggy.
***UPDATE! Dad has been doing great now for the past several months. Thank you Jesus!! That ache in my heart?...It's gone! :) Love you Dad!


  • At Tue Jul 29, 09:09:00 AM , Blogger shipra said...

    i love that you wrote this. I know it's been a tremendous battle for your family. You're so blessed to have this type of father-child relationship with your Dad. It's probably what makes you such a wonderful mother.


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